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News Roundup: No Huckabee Love for Natalie Portman & No Mercy for Wife Clinging to Hood of Car

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News Roundup: No Huckabee Love for Natalie Portman & No Mercy for Wife Clinging to Hood of Car

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Well, bastard child-bearing Natalie Portman can just forget about getting one of the famous Huckabee family Christmas cards this year.  [Us Weekly]

Why underage kids should not be on Facebook.  BECAUSE YOUR 11-YEAR-OLD NIECE WILL SEE THE CURSE WORDS ON YOUR WALL AND DRUNKEN PHOTOS IN YOUR GALLERY AND TATTLE ON YOU TO YOUR MOM!  I say, um, hypothetically.  [Babble]

Woman pens book about deciding she didn’t want to be a mother anymore.  Yup, easy as that!  Just click “unsubscribe to this life.”  [Huffington Post]

If these two can make it work, then I harbor hope for Charlie Sheen and Chuck Lorre yet.  [Daily Squee]

Latest in extreme housewife sports:  Extreme couponing. [Boston Globe]

Somebody’s going to be sleeping on the couch:  Woman clings to car’s hood for 40 miles when her husband floors accelator after argument.  [CBS Sacramento]

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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