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Pearls of Parenting Wisdom from Mario Lopez


Pearls of Parenting Wisdom from Mario Lopez

All parents need guidance sometimes. We may seek it from friends, family, fellow parents, a higher being — and yet, the most powerful insight often comes from an unexpected source:  Mario Lopez.  Here are some particularly insightful quotes from his VH1 reality show, “Saved by the Baby”:

Mario on the possibility of having a child with a horrifying disability:

“You know what I was thinking about today, which is a trip?  The baby might come out… left-handed.  And if it’s a girl and it’s left-handed… I don’t know why, but to me and it’s left-handed, that comes across as masculine. Is that weird? I don’t know… left-handed girls trip me out.”

On learning the sex of the baby in advance:

“If God wanted you to know, he would have made a window [to your stomach].”

On making important parenting decisions as a team:

“[Circumcision] is not up for discussion. Newsflash: This is the way all men are born. I can’t believe you’re even debating me on this. This is not debatable.”

On understanding the importance of attending child-rearing classes, such a breastfeeding course, together:

“I don’t even have chi-chis!  What am I going to be doing?”

On appreciating the beauty of his girlfriend’s body during the C-section:

“I decided to take a peek south of the border.  It was like a crime scene.  Blood everywhere.”

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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