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The Seven-Pound Bully

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The Seven-Pound Bully

Sophie‘s introduction to our household has been a little bumpy, mostly because she has planted a flag on our place that says, “MINE!  ALL MINE!” and charges Marcy any time she dares to, well, try to live here.  As soon as Marcy shows her face, Sophie chases and stalks her — and is not satisfied until Marcy is cowering in our bedroom.

Basically, Sophie wants to make Marcy her kitty bitch.  And is doing a fine job of it.

Sophie’s foster mom suggested keeping her contained in our room for a few days to let her know the house does not belong to her.  We did that, along with familiarizing her with Marcy’s scent AND showing her the mortgage papers — “Is your name on here?  I.  DON’T. THINK.  SO.” — and when we tried reintroducing her today…?

Yeah.  That’s right.  Sophie called out, “Heeeerrrre, kitty, kitty bitch!” and tattooed her name on Marcy’s ass.

Ah, sisters.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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