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Lance Armstrong Welcomes Fifth Child, Earns Super-Sperminator Title


Lance Armstrong Welcomes Fifth Child, Earns Super-Sperminator Title

It’s official:  Lance Armstrong’s swimmers would totally take home the gold medal in Olympic baby-making.  I didn’t even know his baby mama was pregnant again, but here he is, Tweeting about the birth of his daughter, Olivia Marie.

“Olivia Marie Armstrong has arrived!” he wrote early this morning, adding:  “Thanks to you all for the support and well wishes. Momma and Olivia (@Cincoarmstrong!) are doing great.  She’s a beauty!”

For those who are keeping track, break out your scorecards:  This is the Tour de France champ’s second child with Anna Hansen, with whom he also has son Maxwell Edward, 16 months.

Now, I’m no mathmetician, but when I count things up on my fingers, it would seem they did NOT waste any time having a second baby.  Yowza.

Additionally, Lance is dad to twin daughters Isabelle and Grace, almost 9, and son Luke, 11, with ex-wife Kristin Armstrong.

Little-known fact:  Luke means “my father’s mini-me.”  (Holy COW, how much does he look like Lance?!)

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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