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This is Why I Don’t Go to the Gym

Babies

This is Why I Don’t Go to the Gym

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Back in the day when I did participate in group exercise classes, I once made the near-fatal mistake of choosing a spinning bike next to a deodorant-averse European man.  That was five years ago.  I only recently regained consciousness.

And, if possible, it seems things at the gym have only gotten worse since then.

All I have to say is, if this actually were an effective form of exercise, my husband would have Brad Pitt’s abs from Troy right now.

Buy the Baby Fart Aerobics DVD here! The perfect warm-up for Toddler Burp Pilates.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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