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Being a Prude Could Kill You. More at Eleven.

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Being a Prude Could Kill You. More at Eleven.

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Dr. Oz:  “Lack of sex could be killing you.”  Nice try, buddy.  I already fell for that line years ago — er, never mind.  [AOL]

Parents’ brawl cancels kindergarten graduation in California.  Sounds like somebody could use a time-out.  And a Valium.  [USA Today]

There’s now a keepsake case for positive home pregnancy tests.  Because if anything deserves a pretty satin string purse, it’s a urine-soaked stick.  (I’m totally getting one.)  [Babble]

Lorenzo the Cat:  Feline fashionisto and social networking star.  Meanwhile, I can’t even get my cat to poop in the litterbox.  [USA Today]

8,400 baby walkers recalled because they can fit through doorways and stairwells.  Unlike, say, Kanye West’s head.  [Chicago Tribune]

Mother of the Week so far:  Video of a mom dirty dancing with kids, one of whom tries to stick money in her BELLY FLAB.  Try as you might, you will not be able to look away.  [YouTube]

Toddlers and Tiaras recap coming later today.  It’s late, I know, but here’s a preview to tide you over:

Yes, she competes with 10-year-olds. It is AWESOME.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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