Hey, married couples! Don’t let flatulence molecules ruin your love life.
Arm yourselves — and your noses — with the Better Marriage Blanket, a fart-absorbing bedspread that ensures what happens under the covers, stays under the covers. As the ad suggests, the blanket would make a great wedding or anniversary gift. Because nothing says “I love you” like hinting that your spouse farts too much in bed.
Best of all, the blanket has activated carbon fabric: “the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.”
Just in case you’re tooting mustard gas.
No word on how to CLEAN the blanket once it reaches its maximum level of, um, absorbency. (Gas mask not included.)