Connect with us

The Laughing Stork

Blame These Guys

Candy's Column

Blame These Guys

If you’ve noticed a decided lack of stories this week and are wondering how on EARTH I could have missed posting about Mel Gibson’s shocking split with his baby mama or the breaking news that zinc in pregnancy combats babies’ diarrhea, blame my mom and dad who are visiting from Pennsylvania.  Visiting their granddaughter, that is.  I don’t even delude myself into believing they are here to see me anymore.

Thankfully, I’m the only one who knows how to get around town — Miss Skye hasn’t really mastered the freeways yet — so I’ve managed to horn in on their exclusive party by chauffeuring the three of them everywhere from Malibu to Marina del Rey.

Basically, they’re forced to hang out with me if they want to get anywhere.

Of course, considering these guys shuttled my behind to ice skating lessons, assisted with my Brownie troop, coached my softball team when none of the other parents would sacrifice their time, bought me a bad-ass viola and paid for private lessons even though times were tight, and came to every single one of my orchestra performances, from the out-of-tune ear assault that was my fourth-grade orchestra to the more dulcet sounds of All-State Orchestra three hours away in Pittsburgh… well, considering all of THAT, I suppose reciprocally chauffeuring Mom and Dad so they can spend quality time with their granddaughter isn’t so terrible, after all.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Pin on Pinterest
Pinterest

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

More in Candy's Column

To Top