Connect with us

The Laughing Stork

The Barney Effect

Candy's Column

The Barney Effect

I had something very important to do this evening, like shop online for summer sandals, so I turned on the TV to briefly entertain the kid.  (Judge me not!  I grew up watching massive amounts of TV and just look at how I — um, never mind.)  Barney and Friends appeared on our screen for perhaps the second time ever in the history of our TV:

"Must... watch... Barney..."

Miss Skye did not move from this position, not even a centimeter, the ENTIRE TIME THE GOOFY PURPLE CREATURE BOUNCED AROUND ON THE SCREEN.

Barney is her crack.

She couldn’t get enough.  I swear she did not even blink, lest she miss an important plot point.  Like whether Barney will finally be able to stop eating pistachios or not.  Oh, the drama!

Hmpf.  From what I’ve seen…?  Those pistachios are doing his figure no favor.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

More in Candy's Column

To Top