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Reality TV “Brat” Sues ABC for $100 Million Smackeroos

Pop Culture

Reality TV “Brat” Sues ABC for $100 Million Smackeroos

Here’s our legal system at its best:  A teen beauty queen who was featured on ABC’s ‘Wife Swap’ two years ago is now suing the network for $100 million, charging they framed scenes to “maximize her public embarrassment” by making her look like a spoiled brat.

Yes!  She was framed!

In court papers obtained by the NY Daily News, Alicia Guastaferro, 18, claims she has received death threats and become suicidal since appearing on the show, where she declared:  “I do feel sorry for people that are not gorgeous people.”

Oh, I’m sure it seems less “bratty” when put into context.  *Ahem*

Alicia says that since the airing she has had to transfer schools in upstate New York and has slid from the honor roll to the special education program.   (I guess it’s true:  Reality TV really does turn brains to mush.)  Of course, it probably didn’t help that during the show, Alicia’s mother freely admitted — and demonstrated — how she does her daughter’s homework.  “She doesn’t have time!”

Again.  Context.  I’m sure.

Another motive for the lawsuit may be the financial woes of the family.   (Say wha –?  But they sound so upstanding!)   Last November, Alicia’s parents pleaded guilty to felony money laundering charges stemming from a Canadian telemarketing scheme.  They’re also in hot water for not declaring wages at the family’s glass-tinting business. According to a Buffalo News report, the mom faces up to 16 months in jail, while Daddy

A “Canadian telemarketing scheme”?  This girl is not only blessed with humility and intelligence, but also fantastic parents.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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