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‘Extra Small’ Condoms for 12-Year-Olds Hit Shelves, Egos

Health & Beauty

‘Extra Small’ Condoms for 12-Year-Olds Hit Shelves, Egos

Several studies have revealed that adolescent boys aren’t putting on a Jimmy hat when having sex.  So, in response to this problem, a major condom manufacturer in Switzerland has created “extra-small” condoms named the “Hotshot” for boys as young as 12 years old.

Because if ANYTHING is going to make boys wear a condom, it’s calling it “extra-small.”

“The result that shocked us concerned young boys who display apparently risky behavior,” said researcher Nancy Bodmer.  “They have more of a tendency not to protect themselves.  They do not have a very developed sexual knowledge. They do not understand the consequences of what they are doing and leave the young girls to take care of the consequences.”

This ignorance is also widely known as “Lil Wayne Syndrome.”

Bodmer said the results of the study suggest that early prevention makes sense.  True.  But common sense dictates it is the kids’ ignorance, not the size of the condoms, that’s the real problem.

A standard condom has a diameter of 2 inches; the Hotshot’s is 1.7 inches.  A spokeswoman for the condom company, Lamprecht AG, said England would be a “top priority” if they expanded abroad, especially since the U.K. has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in Europe. 

Jon Gosselin is, of course, also part of their target demographic for this product.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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