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Headline of the Day: “Why is Angelina Turning Shiloh into A BOY?”

Celebrities

Headline of the Day: “Why is Angelina Turning Shiloh into A BOY?”

Three-year-olds have definite minds of their own, including when it comes to their wardrobe choices.  My sister apparently refused to wear anything but pants.  And I, um, often refused to wear clothes AT ALL. (Well, it’s not like I could swim in the mall water fountain with my CLOTHES ON!  Duh.)

And three-year-old Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, as we’re all-too-aware by now, has decided to sport the menswear trend that she obviously spied at New York Fashion Week — and the world is aghast, just AGHAST, that Brad and Angie would allow her to take this masculine turn.  Because everybody knows having short hair and wearing v-neck sweaters means automatic sex change.  True story.

Which explains this week’s Life & Style cover:  “Why is Angelina Turning Shiloh into A BOY?”

The “experts” pontificate:

Alana Kelen, senior fashion stylist at VH1: “Shiloh is pushing the boundaries of a tomboy look and crossing over to cross-dresser territory.”

Gili Rashal-Niv, celebrity stylist: “I get that times are tough but does Angie really need to have Shiloh sharing clothes with her brothers? Hopefully we won’t be seeing Maddox in one of Shiloh’s dresses any time soon.”

Glenn Stanton, director of Family Formation Studies at the conservative organization Focus on the Family: “They need help, they need guidance of what that looks like. It’s important to teach our children that gender distinction is very healthy.”

Karen Deerwester, parenting coach: “Giving preschool-age children the freedom and flexibility to experiment with how they want to be seen in the world is a wonderful gift.”  (Hallelujah.)

Ridiculous theories about Shiloh’s “cross-dressing” tendencies aside, see those “Hot Spring Shoes” in the sidebar?  I predict we see Suri Cruise sporting a pair of those on next week’s cover.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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