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Heidi Klum Designs Maternity Clothes for the, Um, Confident Pregnant Lady

Celebrities

Heidi Klum Designs Maternity Clothes for the, Um, Confident Pregnant Lady

If anybody should be familiar with the challenge of trying to be stylish during pregnancy, it’s four-timer Heidi Klum — so it’s no surprise Ms. Heidi has launched two maternity collections:  Lavish by Heidi Klum for A Pea in the Pod (a bit more expensive), and Loved by Heidi Klum for Motherhood Maternity (for the budget-conscious mamas-to-be).

The collection starts out innocuously enough, with perfectly lovely pieces such as a babydoll tunic that looks like, well, many other maternity babydoll tunics out there.  (Note to more well-endowed ladies:  Because of the empire waist, this style is NOT for you.  I learned this the hard way when I saw a picture of myself in a similar maternity blouse last year and my girls looked like overstuffed sausages.)

Then things take a turn toward the “Oh no, she di-in’t”…

Yes!  It’s a $95 maternity unitard!  Given that I spent 99% of my pregnancy urinating, I would strongly recommend that Heidi add an “easy access” zipper compartment.

I appreciate that pregnant ladies need to feel sexy and badass, too, but $550 for leather leggings?  (That they’ll wear one or two times?)  C’mon, pregnant chicks don’t require THAT much more material!  For that kind of money, the leggings had better come with Heidi Klum’s body, too.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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