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School Suspends 4-Year-Old Because His ‘Do Won’t Do

In the News

School Suspends 4-Year-Old Because His ‘Do Won’t Do

A four-year-old boy has been suspended from pre-kindergarten because he likes his hair more Brad Pitt circa Legends of the Fall, less Brad Pitt circa Ocean’s Eleven.

Taylor Pugh’s luscious locks — longish on the front and sides, covering his earlobes and shirt collar — violate the suburban Dallas school district’s dress code. His parents say the boy plans to eventually cut his hair and donate it to a charity that makes wigs for cancer patients. And, not surprisingly, they are not happy with the district’s rules.

“They kicked me out of that place,” said Taylor, who prefers the nickname Tater Tot. “I miss my friends.”

The school district appears “more concerned about his hair than his education,” said Taylor’s father. “I don’t think it’s right to hold a child down and force him to do something … when it’s not hurting him or affecting his education.”

On its Web site, the district defends its code, saying “students who dress and groom themselves neatly, and in an acceptable and appropriate manner, are more likely to become constructive members of the society in which we live.”

Yes, how DARE you donate your hair to cancer patients, young man.  That is neither acceptable nor appropriate!  Now be a constructive citizen and cut it off before people get the frightening idea that you’re an individual with ideas of your own.  *SHUDDER*

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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