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Contest Time! Candy’s Super-Appropriate Baby Betting Pool

Candy's Column

Contest Time! Candy’s Super-Appropriate Baby Betting Pool

Step right up and place your bets, folks!

Readers have suggested observing the imminent (?) arrival of Baby Girl with the purest form of celebration:  a betting pool.   Which Mr. Candy thought was a grand idea.  Because what better way to christen a precious new life than with a li’l gambling?!

So please help us welcome Baby Girl into this world with a prize on her head.   (The winner of The Pool will receive Votre Vu’s Cheveux Heureux Shampoo Riche, a $28 value.)  Simply guess when you think she will arrive — just the birth date — and, for the purposes of a tie-breaker, her birth weight. And, for the purposes of a tie-breaker-breaker, who you think her baby daddy is.

No!  I kid!  Mr. Candy is the daddy.  I’m almost certain. 

Some back-story to help you make a more educated guess:

Due date: July 28, 2009

Mucus plug status: Gone… gone… outta here

Membrane sweep: Two of ’em; July 16 and 23

State of the Cervix (as of this morning):  1-1/2 cm dilated; 80 percent effaced

Ultrasound-based weight estimate: 6 lbs., 5 oz. as of July 10

MY birth weight: 9 lbs., 13 oz. (or, in medical terms, a little porker).  In my defense, however, I WAS a month late.  *AHEM*

Place your bets in the comments section.   One entry per person (please use your real e-mail address).  Best o’ luck, Baby Betters!


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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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