Candy white-knuckles the bathroom counter, breathing through her Braxton-Hicks contractions.
MR. CANDY: OUCH!
He jumps back from the mirror, wincing in agony.
CANDY: (BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT…) What’s wrong?
MR. CANDY: My eyebrow!
Candy closes her eyes. It feels like somebody has wrapped a rubber band around her abdomen, pulled it back as far as it will go…
CANDY: (WEAKLY) What about it?
…And SNAPPED it.
MR. CANDY: I just plucked an extra-thick hair. And it hurt, man!
CANDY: I’m having false contractions here. And you’re complaining about a FREAKING EYEBROW HAIR?
MR. CANDY: Did I mention it was extra-thick?
Random sidebar: I always want to call them “Taylor Hicks” contractions. Weird, right? Soul Patrol labor!