All of us parents and parents-to-be have been there. That moment when a friend or family member generously buys clothing for our little one, clothing so garish even Elton John would gasp, “Oh honey, no.” And the gesture is so heartfelt, all we can do is pray those childhood acting classes are finally paying off and our smile is masking our inner horror.
“How CUTE is that? Thank you!” we squeal three octaves too high.
We have no choice but to torture our child with the outfit at least once, so we can take a picture as evidence that s/he DID wear it, then toss it in the back of the closet along with the Morrissey t-shirts from college we simply cannot bear to part with.
Here is one such unwitting fashion victim:
“This was given to me by a co-worker who received it from one of the ‘church ladies’ when she had her baby. She told me to pass on the humiliation. In the first few groggy weeks of my daughter’s birth, I dressed her up (what else are you supposed to do with an infant?) in lots of different outfits and took pictures thinking of future revenge for sleepless nights. I’ve since passed it on to my husband’s cousin.”
R.I.P. Lamb Chop