1. I should leave the “hand-on-hip” pose to Paris Hilton.
2. Imminent parenthood does not mean increased maturity. Mr. Candy spotted these structures on our way to La Jolla and squealed…
… “Boobie buildings!”
3. Baby Mamas get no respect, man. While we were in the midst of a fancy-schmancy dinner at our hotel, the restaurant manager came over and made a big deal out of my pregnancy — and proceeded to give Mr. Candy TWO FREE GLASSES OF WINE to celebrate. Um, hello, my stomach has expanded to the size of a baby elephant so I can grow a LIFE in my womb. Where’s MY free dessert?
4. Ladybugs have no qualms about copping a feel without even buying you a drink first.
5. NEVER park under the popular seagull hang-out: