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Kids Forced to Wear Ball and Chain to Teach Them Joy of Studying

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Kids Forced to Wear Ball and Chain to Teach Them Joy of Studying

Parents who are concerned about their children’s studies, but not concerned enough to personally pay attention, will be excited about a new study aid on the market:  the ol’ ball and chain!

Yes, just set the desired time on the so-called “Study Ball” and attach the 20-pound device to your child’s ankle.  A red digital display counts down the “Study Time Left,” and the contraption beeps and unlocks when the time (which cannot exceed four hours) expires.

Because heaven knows your child will NEVER be able to reach his cell phone with a 20-pound ball strapped to him.  Hell, kids wear bling around their neck that weighs more than that.  These days, I eat BAGS OF CHIPS that weigh more than that!  In one sitting.

If interested in this genius invention — and who wouldn’t be, really — you can find it on for about $100.

*SIGH*  If only we could go back to the days of yore, when kids had no problem buckling down and plagiarizing CliffsNotes all on their own.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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