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Schools Versus The Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Foundation: Oh, It’s On!

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Schools Versus The Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Foundation: Oh, It’s On!

"Study and work hard, honey, so you too can earn only 75.5 cents for every dollar that men make!"

Schools are pleading with parents to keep their kids in class and not take them to work today for “Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day” because, well, schools would like the kids to learn instead.

Many educators have alerted parents that between high-stakes standardized testing in some areas (with standardized test results linked to federal funding) and the H1N1 virus that kept thousands of children home earlier in the school year, the timing of the event doesn’t make sense.

Plus, anybody who’s watched “The Office” knows it’s not a very good idea.  (Everything I’VE learned, I’ve learned from “The Office.”)

In many districts, some of which sent strongly worded letters or e-mails to parents explaining that taking part was putting their children’s education at risk (melodramatic much?), officials reported that more kids were indeed opting out of the event and deciding to remain in school than in previous years.

Administrators have been complaining about the event’s date for well over a decade. Some have said they’ve contacted the Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Foundation to ask that it be held on a school holiday or during the summer, but the organization says no way, suckers!  Oh snap.  (Can I still say that…?  No…?  Oh well.  Just practicing to embarrass my daughter in the future with outdated slang.)

There’s clearly only one proper way to settle this:  CAGE MATCH between educators and the Foundation members.  That’s right — it’s on like Donkey Kong!  (I’m frighteningly good with the outdated slang.  A gift, really.)

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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