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Miley Cyrus Vows to Remain a Virgin Till Marriage


Miley Cyrus Vows to Remain a Virgin Till Marriage

… Or, you know, till she finds her own Justin Timberlake.

With the ghost of a teenage Britney Spears cackling behind her, Miley Cyrus, 16, wisely declared to the world that she is determined to “save herself” for marriage.  Miley has been dating 20-year-old underwear model Justin Gaston since last year, and she insists the couple has not had sex.

“I want to keep my virginity until I marry.  I was brought up in a Christian family,” Miley recently told the Daily Mail.

A compelling point, for sure.  Just ask the other 2.1 billion Christians who SURELY remained celibate until they tied the knot.

I, however, won’t believe it until Miley gets a purity ring.  THEN it’s, like, totally for real.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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