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The Baby Mama Party Shirt


The Baby Mama Party Shirt

I went to the Express on Friday to return a maxi dress I’d bought online that made me resemble a muumuu-wearing pineapple. I don’t know why I continue to buy clothing off the Internet, especially as my shape changes every day.  Perhaps it’s the immediate adrenaline rush of clicking on “purchase now.”  Yay!  Pretty things on the way!  Which, in 10-14 days, turns into:  “Boo!  I have to return this ugly crap!”  Or, even more likely, it’s because I’m six months pregnant and out of my freakin’ mind.

The silver lining:  the muumuu debacle got my lazy, growing ass into the actual STORE, where I spied a rack of flowy tops labeled “Party Shirts”:

Granted, the only partying I’m doing these days centers around me and baby rocking out to “Mozart for Mothers-to-Be” on the Bellysonic speaker stereo pouch.  But as it turns out, these “party shirts” also make decent maternity wear.  Kind of cute, very comfortable.  This is a size large, which even allows room to grow.   (Surprising, considering many Express shirts are tailor-made for 100-lb. teenagers — and those are the extra-larges.)  And, oh yes, we all know there will be more growin’.  And growin’.  And growin’…

I see they’re available online, but there are more options AND better prices in the store.   At $23, I picked up two.  Because that’s the kind of big spender I am, baby!

Please note that shopping tips and suggestions are not paid for — just Candy’s general observations and ramblings — unless specified as a Sponsored Listing.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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