23 Weeks

Growin'-Growin'-Growin'

Today marks my 23rd week of pregnancy.  Frankly, I have no clue how many months that equals.

“Then you must be an idiot!” you are undoubtedly shouting at the picture of me and my ever-growing bump.

With this, I cannot argue.

By my uncertain calculations, I am about five months along.  However, according to What to Expect When You’re Expecting — which SHOULD be called Scaring the Hell Out of Pregnant Women with Worst-Case Scenarios and Having a Good Laugh at Their Expense — I am already well into my sixth month.

Well, okay.

They’re the so-called experts, so I guess I’ll just accept their chart without questioning it… much like I did with my AP English teacher’s interpretation of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man — which apparently symbolizes the gestation of a soul and, therefore, James Joyce’s new principle of order.

Well, okay.

I know what you’re thinking and, yes, today also marks Baby Girl’s evolution into a large mango.  Every week I look up baby’s new developments on BabyCenter.com, a site that likens my child to fruits and vegetables.  Which amuses my mom to no end.  “This week, your baby is the size of a baked potato!”  “You have a banana-sized baby gestating in there!”  Last week, she was apparently a spaghetti squash.

No wonder I’m always so hungry.