CANDY (WITH TREMENDOUS SYMPATHY): Well, believe it.
CANDY’S MOM: It was an innocent comment. I didn’t mean anything by it.
CANDY’S MOM: That’s it. I’m not saying anything about you and the baby ever again!
CUT TO: ONE MINUTE LATER
CANDY’S MOM: … I’ve been SO waiting for you to have a daughter; a little terror, just like you were! You know what they say about karma… I’m going to be snickering the whole time —
CANDY’S MOM: Yeah?
CANDY: You do realize I’m writing this down, right?
CANDY’S MOM: (PAUSE) Damn!
Editor’s note: Toddler Candy was nothing but an angel sent from heaven. Those SCREEEEAAAAMING tantrums on the department store floor…? Merely a precocious child’s dramatic interpretation of the pain and sadness inherent in Picasso’s Blue Period. …No? Oh, okay, Toddler Candy was a little terror. Karma will indeed be a bitch.