Simon Cowell is Having a Baby! With, um, His Friend’s Wife!

Oh, Simon.

The 53-year-old media mogul, who is not exactly known for his nurturing and paternal ways, is indeed having a baby with his “close” friend Andrew Silverman’s estranged wife Lauren (pictured on the right, vacationing with Simon AND Andrew on a yacht last year).  And now Lauren, who is about 10 weeks pregnant, plans to permanently end things with Andrew to be with her baby daddy.  Yup — a storyline straight out of one of the scripts I used to write for The Bold and the Beautiful!  Only we would have further complicated the situation with a paternity triangle and a horrific car crash.  But, for real life, this story is still pretty darn juicy.

Simon has gone on record many times about having NO desire for kids, saying things like:  “God, no. I couldn’t have children.  With kids, you’ve got a routine you can’t escape from.”  Which is true!  But alas…

A peek into the future life of Simon Jr.:

SIMON JR:  “The wheels on the bus go ’round and ’round…”

SIMON:  “Years ago I sat on two cats and that’s what it sounded like. It was painful.”

I’m just looking forward to seeing spit-up stains on those tight black shirts of his.  Welcome to parenthood, Simon!