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5 Coolest Things About Abdicating The Throne to Your Son

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5 Coolest Things About Abdicating The Throne to Your Son


I thought I was a selfless mom for sharing my coffee cake with my son this morning, but no…!  Turns out, Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands earned the “Mom of the Day” title today when she abdicated the throne to her eldest son, Willem-Alexander, allowing him to become the first King of the Netherlands in more than 120 years.  Quite a nice gesture on Beatrix’s part, especially considering she is now just a lame princess.  But when you think about it, there are some perks to abdicating the throne to your son:

The 5 Coolest Things About Abdicating The Throne to Your Son

5.  Since the effectiveness of “But I gave BIRTH to you!” has long worn off, you can now lay guilt trips with “But I MADE YOU KING!”

4.  Reason to use awesome new bumper sticker:


3.  More time to check out new Royals-only bingo hall.

2.  Now your eldest will have round-the-clock security to protect him from wedgie fights started by his younger brothers.

1.  No pressure to host holiday dinners at YOUR palace anymore.  Woo-hoo!

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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