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Kate Middleton Accidentally Reveals Gender of Baby! Or… Not.

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Kate Middleton Accidentally Reveals Gender of Baby! Or… Not.

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The media is all atwitter because Kate Middleton may have slipped and revealed her baby’s gender.  Yes, as the Duchess accepted a teddy bear from a well-wisher, she reportedly said, “‘I will take that for my d…” before stopping herself.  And, while everybody is hoping she intended to say “daughter,” we argue that there are other totally logical possibilities:

1.  “I will take that for my d…inner.”   (Weird pregnancy craving.)

2.  “I will take that for my d…og.”  (Because Lupo is probably feeling left out these days.)

3.   “I will take that for my d…ate.”  (Has more hair than Wills.)

4.  “I will take that for my d…esperately lonely stuffed penguin, Milly.”

5.  “I will take that for my d…ear sister, who has been depressed ever since my stomach started garnering more attention than her arse.”

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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