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The Laughing Stork News Report: Kate Middleton Bikini Picture SCANDAL; Declining Number of Teen Births

Published on Feb 15, 2013

Italian tabloid reprimanded by Royals for publishing pictures of pregnant Kate Middleton in a bikini
If that were ME looking that hot in a bikini at four months pregnant (or ever)? I’d say, “THANK YOU FOR SHOWING THE WORLD MY BANGIN’ BODY!”

If wife earns more, husband’s sexual performance may suffer, study finds
Good thing their wives can afford to buy them some Viagra. And a stronger ego.

Vivienne Jolie-Pitt paid $3000/week for role in her mom’s movie “Maleficent”
Phew! Now we don’t worry about her being able to afford food and clothes for a while.

Teen births continue to decline in the U.S.
Possible reasons include increased sex education, general idiocy of Teen Mom cast.

Kris Humphries’ lawyer quits day before they’re to appear in court for Kim Kardashian divorce case
Also requesting a pink slip: Kim’s overstuffed leather pants.

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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).