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And Then There Were Seven

Candy's Column

And Then There Were Seven

There comes a moment in most every mom’s life when she thinks, You know what we could use around here?  MORE PUKE AND POOP!  This moment is usually preceded by Benadryl and wine.

I’m pretty sure that’s how we’ve ended up with TWO more cats.  That, plus the fact that I’m a sucker who couldn’t say no when approached by two different rescuers about adopting the fluffballs.

One-year-old Lola comes from a family that rescues all kinds of animals — cats, dogs, horses, wayward snails, you name it — and no longer had the time to look after her after rescuing a litter of stray kittens. Enter: us.

Her name is Lola.  Not exactly shy, this one — here she is snuggling with Drew exactly two seconds after meeting him.  Although he was initially surprised by Lola’s unabashed show of affection, he was kissing her just moments later.  Just like a man.


Lola already has Mr. Candy holding her cocktails for her.  Well-played, Lola.  Well-played.  I have nothing left to teach you, my feline friend.

Larry is a ten-month-old sweetheart whose family ended up having cat allergies. Their loss, our large and fluffy gain.

People, meet Larry.  Larry, people.  Larry obviously has no problem making himself right at home.  Even with his lack of decorum, Miss Skye rewarded him with a sticker for “good manners.”  Which makes me wonder what, exactly, they’re teaching her at that fancy preschool of hers.


You’ll be happy to know that Lucy has assumed the role of Big Sister without missing a beat — although now she is always asking where HER cocktail is.  And, while Mr. Candy and I are are happy to open our hearts and homes to these cats, our liquor cabinet is a whole ‘nother story.  You want to sleep on my head all night?  Fine.  Hawk a hairball in my cereal?  All right.  BUT PAWS OFF MOMMY AND DADDY’S “SPECIAL JUICE,” CATS!  It’s all we have left.

Needless to say, I’m going to have to set up Lucy, Larry and Lola with their own blog on here.  In part to share their feline antics, but mostly so I can make them earn their keep by modeling embarrassing cat hats.   Which officially checks off one more box on the “CRAZY CAT LADY” checklist!  Once I buy some cat dishware and shower curtains, and purchase a sizable collection of t-shirts with cats on them, I should be able able to collect my membership card.  Woo-hoo!

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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