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In Today’s Crazy Talk News: Beyonce Says Changing Diapers is “So Beautiful”

Celebrities

In Today’s Crazy Talk News: Beyonce Says Changing Diapers is “So Beautiful”

If you were wondering about the contents of Blue Ivy’s diapers, you’re in luck!  She apparently poops POTPOURRI — because that’s the only plausible explanation for this crazy talk:

“I love changing diapers,” Beyonce recently gushed to Anderson Cooper about her 9-month-old daughter.  “I love it. I love every moment of it, it’s so beautiful!”

Hey, I love my kids and I love being a mom.  Changing diarrhea-filled diapers while my kid writhes around like a wild badger?  Not so much.  But if Beyonce can’t get enough of that, she’s just going to LOVE these new mom moments that I recently experienced myself:

  • Walking in to Blue’s bedroom to pick her up from a nap… only to discover she’s smeared her poop all over her head, back, crib and wall.  SO PRECIOUS!
  • Putting Blue on the children’s toilet in a public “Family Restroom”… only to have Blue miss the potty and pee all over the floor and her own feet.  SO DARLING!
  • Reading a book with Blue in bed… when she spies several wet spots on her new sheets.  “What’s that?” she’ll ask Blue. “I peed on your bed!” Blue will declare with an evil laugh.  SO SWEET!

Oh, just you wait, Beyonce.  The true beauty of motherhood is just beginning!

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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