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Munchable Cheeks Alert: Jessica Simpson Debuts Baby Maxwell


Munchable Cheeks Alert: Jessica Simpson Debuts Baby Maxwell

Good thing I just had my daily PB&J, otherwise I just might have stalked the Simpson-Johnson household to nibble on those baby cheeks…

Looks like People was the highest bidder for the “EXCLUSIVE!” first photos of Jess and her deliciously chubby one-month-old bundle of joy, Maxwell, with fiancé Eric Johnson.  (Is it weird I’m still kind of bummed she and Nick couldn’t make it work?  Yeah?  You’re right; I need to let that go.)   “Life has completely changed,” Jessica, 31, told the People folks. “From how I sleep to what I think about, Maxwell has definitely taken over everything!”

Yup.  Get used to that, girlfriend.

Among the interview topics of discussion:  how Maxwell inherited her mom’s eyes and her dad’s calm demeanor, as well as Jessica’s C-section, from which recovering “isn’t easy.”  Jess also notes that nursing, which she does throughout the day, has become “a full-on job.”

Yup.  Get used to that, girlfriend.

Still, “It’s the worst if I have to pump and give Eric a bottle to give her,” Jessica says. “I miss holding her and having that closeness.”  (Have to admit, I’ve always felt the same way.  Selfish mamas unite!)

Congrats on your beautiful baby, guys.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to watch the “Jessica and Nick Forever Love” slideshow one last time.  (Leave me alone.  All part of the grieving process.)

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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