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After Only Nine Years of Pregnancy, Jessica Simpson Gives Birth to Her Baby Girl! And the Name Is…

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After Only Nine Years of Pregnancy, Jessica Simpson Gives Birth to Her Baby Girl! And the Name Is…

A picture of Jess back when she was only five years pregnant

To avoid giving birth to a toddler, Jessica Simpson decided to finally have her baby!  Yes, the reality star-slash-designer-slash-singer-slash-Chicken of the Sea contents inquisitor and her fiancé Eric Johnson welcomed their daughter, named Maxwell Drew Johnson, today.

“Eric and I are elated to announce the birth of our baby girl, Maxwell Drew Johnson,” she posted on her Web site. “We are grateful for all the love, support and prayers we have received. This has been the greatest experience of our lives!!”

Not only does her daughter share one of her names with my son Drew, but they also share a similarly impressive birth size:  Maxwell weighed in at 9 lbs. 13 oz. (Drew was 9 lbs., 12 oz.) and is 21¾ inches long.   In case you’re wondering how the heck they came up with the name, well… for the record, it is not sponsored by Maxwell House, although that would have been a stroke of promotional genius because the new parents will likely end up inhaling a ton of it after their upcoming sleepless nights.  Maxwell is actually Eric’s middle name, while Drew is Jessica’s mother’s maiden name.

And here my money was on Erica.  (Get it?  Eric + Jessica = Yeah, okay, you get it.)  Guess the cats won this betting pool.  AGAIN.

Congrats on your BIG ol’ bundle of joy, guys!

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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