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Mom’s Pregnancy News is Worst Thing Kids Have Heard Since Selena Gomez Left Wizards of Waverly Place

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Mom’s Pregnancy News is Worst Thing Kids Have Heard Since Selena Gomez Left Wizards of Waverly Place

My brother and sister are 13 and 11 years older than I am, respectively.  Yes, before I was named Candy, I was largely referred to as “OOPS!”  Sometimes “OH CRAP,” other times “THAT SURPRISE!,” but never “PLANNED.”  When my mom broke the news of my imminent arrival to my siblings, they did what any sensitive child would do:  they laughed hysterically, assuming my mom was joking.  Oh yes, they laughed and they laughed and they laughed…until my mom started crying.

“But, but…Mom,” they stuttered, shocked.  “You’re going to be such an…old mother.”

She was 30 years old at the time.

Such would be your perspective, I guess, if you’d had a mom who was so young when she had you.  It must be noted that I NEVER considered my mom old.  And I still answer to “OOPS!” to this day.

I couldn’t help but think about my mom’s experience when I saw this video of a woman in a similar situation — only she and her husband are armed with a video camera when they share the “good news” with their kids.  To the expectant mom in this clip, all I can say is:  my siblings eventually got over their horror and consoled themselves by dressing me in ridiculous oversized sunglasses.  So take heart — I’m sure your kids will find a way to humiliate your baby, as well!  Awwww.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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