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The Morning Dish: Charlize Theron Becomes a Mom; Drew Barrymore Fuels Pregnancy Rumors


The Morning Dish: Charlize Theron Becomes a Mom; Drew Barrymore Fuels Pregnancy Rumors

So glad I can dish about the latest celebrity family gossip here because the cats are totally sick of hearing about Jennifer Aniston’s “baby bump.” (Her official bump status this week:  “suspicious looking“; seriously, not a week goes by without a mention of her “bump” in the tabloids.  Amazing)

The “BREAKING NEWS” in Us Weekly todayCharlize Theron, on whom both Mr. Candy and I have a crush, has adopted a baby boy named Jackson.  And just because people seem to want to know these details:  Li’l Jackson was born in the U.S. and happens to be black.  Most importantly, he is healthy.

Also:  Her flexibility will TOTALLY be an asset as a mother.  Congrats, Charlize!

Drew Barrymore spotted carrying my best friend during my first trimesters — Saltines — further fueling those pregnancy rumors.  Or maybe she just wanted to be prepared if she came across some clam chowder.  Either/or.

Jessica Simpson assures Jay Leno she is not carrying twins.  Although her bikini top may beg to differ.

Elegant maternity style alert:  Snooki demonstrates this season’s must-have look for expectant moms:  matching your hair extensions to your six-inch fuchsia wedges.

Snooki isn’t the only one with style:  Beyonce and Blue seemed to coordinate their footwear (of course) with cat-and-mouse-themed shoes in NYC yesterday. The 2-month-old donned metallic Little Marc Jacobs Baby Mouse slippers, (price: $66), while Beyonce wore slightly more expensive Charlotte Olympia Cat-Face Leopard Skimmer flats (price: a mere $660).  All you need to do is hand over your first-born to afford those flats and you’ll be stylin’ just like Beyonce!  (Only your Bjorn will be empty because, you know, you bartered your child away.  But sometimes you have to sacrifice for fashion…!)

James Van Der Beek, who already has a 17-month-old daughter, welcomed a son yesterday.  When I googled James’ name for this story, the first thing that came up was “James Van Der Beek” and “gay,” so, uh, I’m guessing some people are surprised by this news.  Congrats, Dawson!

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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