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Let’s Chat About Celebrity Family Gossip, Shall We?

Celebrities

Let’s Chat About Celebrity Family Gossip, Shall We?

I kicked off my Monday with a 5:45 a.m. wake-up call from Drew, who somehow had poop smeared down his leg and up his back, yet very little on his actual BUTT — this was after waking up with him at 12 a.m. and 2 a.m., mind you — followed by a parking ticket outside daycare for being parked in a street cleaning zone one minute too long.  I am, like, not even exaggerating.

Yay for Mondays!

I would start drinking if only I didn’t have to pick up the kids this afternoon (the daycare frowns upon moms whose breath smells like appletinis…SO uptight), so I am going to drown my sorrows in another guilty pleasure instead:  celebrity gossip.  Let’s chat about the latest famous family news, shall we?

I opened my Us Weekly daily e-newsletter to receive some VERY important news: Vanessa Minnillo is 12 weeks pregnant and, according to Nick, craving burritos.  Knowing these guys, a pregnancy sponsorship by Taco Bell can’t be far behind.

Speaking of Us Weekly

They’ve sunk to a new low.  Somewhere in their offices, they’re brainstorming their next poll:  WHOSE ASS IS BIGGER?  SURI’S OR VIOLET’S?

Vivienne Jolie-Pitt, 3, wore red lipstick and gold lame pants to the movies.  Which, I think we can all agree, should become the standard movie-watching uniform for everyone.  I think I love this kid.

The fact that Beyonce breastfed Blue Ivy in public continues to make headlinesAll the Nursing Ladies/All the Nursing Ladies/Now Pull Your Shirts Up!

Snooki is engaged and pregnant, giving whole new meaning to the “Snooki Bump.”

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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