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Important Employment Report: More Stay-at-Home Moms Becoming Phone Sex Operators

In the News

Important Employment Report: More Stay-at-Home Moms Becoming Phone Sex Operators

Surprisingly, real phone sex operators are NOT busty 18-year-olds just lounging on their bed in lingerie.

Back in my day, when fire was just discovered, stay-at-home moms earned extra money by becoming “Avon Ladies” or hawking Tupperware.   Today, however, more SAHMs are turning to a slightly less June Cleaver-esque field for extra income:   phone sex operation.

I know, I know; it’s crazy, right?  I mean, there are people who still use the phone for talking?!

Yes, apparently, because according to Good Morning America, the number of mothers of young children seeking out this kind of sex work has jumped 400 percent in the past 18 months.  Although largely embarrassed by the work — not exactly something they’re listing under “MOTHER’S EMPLOYMENT” on their kids’ school paperwork — these mamas justify their side-hustle by pointing out they can sometimes earn hundreds of dollars a day with little effort and lots of schedule flexibility.  More power to ’em, I say.

Not to mention that being a mother makes them a natural fit for this line of work.  Why, a number of everyday parenting phrases also work with this particular clientele.  For example:

Clean up after yourself!

You’re being a bad boy.

I’m gonna have to spank you.

This hurts me more than it hurts you.

Watch your mouth!

Be a leader, not a follower.

You’re going to put your eye out with that thing!

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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