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Top 10 Signs the Muppets Are Communists

Pop Culture

Top 10 Signs the Muppets Are Communists

Fox Business News anchor Eric Bolling has accused the Muppets of trying to brainwash kids with their Communist agenda, prompting an outcry throughout the Web.  However, a deeper investigation by The Laughing Stork reveals that may not be such a ludicrous observation, after all.  For your consideration:

THE TOP 10 SIGNS THE MUPPETS ARE COMMUNISTS

10.  The 1982 direct-to-VHS release of The Muppets Take Warsaw.

9.  Noticeable resemblance between Waldorf and Stalin:

Coincidence?  Hmmmm.

8. 

Two words:  Communist pig.

7.  Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem are so anti-religion that they not only play their rock-and-roll music in a church, they also plan on turning that church into a coffee house.

6.  The Swedish Chef’s most famous dish:  Eisbein (pork knuckle).

5.  That time Beaker was arrested for being a Soviet Spy.  (Explains his, um, heavy accent.)

4.  The decades-long rumor that Gonzo plucks his chickens from communes.

3.  Rizzo the Rat said to be a ringleader of the Occupy Wall Street movement.

2.  The original chorus of The Rainbow Connection:

Someday we’ll indoctrinate you.

The Commie Connection.

Lenin.  Stalin.  The KGB…

1.  Incriminating photos from Kermit’s Facebook photo album titled, “What I Did During My Hiatus from Hollywood”:

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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