Unless you’ve been hiding under Beyoncé’s prosthetic baby bump, er… I mean, a rock… you have likely heard about Beyoncé’s appearance on a talk show where her bump seemed to, well, deflate:
Thus fueling rumors that her pregnancy is fake, covering up the fact that she and Jay-Z have contracted with a surrogate to carry their baby. Naturally. Because if Katie Holmes’ and Nicole Kidman’s pregnancies taught us anything, it’s that people love a good fake baby bump rumor.
But I think there are some completely plausible explanations for Beyoncé’s “now you see it, now you don’t” baby. Yeah, that’s right — I’m coming to Bey’s defense! Here are 10 such logical explanations:
10. Standing up, she was pregnant Beyoncé, but sitting down…? She turned into non-pregnant alter-ego Sasha Fierce.
9. She is pregnant with a whoopee cushion.
8. Beyoncé had an affair with Terminator 2’s T-100 and the baby inherited his shape-shifting gene. (BUSTED!)
7. Maybe the dingo ate her baby.
6. She had a weak pregnancy bladder moment as she sat down, thus the deflation.
5. The baby dropped. (Out of sight.)
4. One word: Solange. Oh yes, Solange is behind this somehow. Bwa-ha-haaaa!
3. The maternity Spanx finally kicked in.
2. The baby heard they were going to play songs from Beyonce’s new album and made a quick exit.
1. Papa Knowles stole her baby, too.: