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Beyonce is Pregnant — Like, Really, Truly Pregnant — So We Need to Name Her Baby

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Beyonce is Pregnant — Like, Really, Truly Pregnant — So We Need to Name Her Baby

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After approximately two-hundred-trillion-and-three rumors that Beyonce is pregnant, she really is with child.  Yup! Really. Truly. Pregnant.

Hours after confirming her pregnancy to photographers on the black carpet at MTV’s Video Music Awards, Beyonce began her song “Love on Top” with a nod to Baby-Z: “Tonight, I want you to stand up on your feet — I want you to feel the love that’s growing inside me!”

Once her song was done, Beyonce, 29, then unbuttoned her jacket, rubbed her belly, and flashed a giant smile.  In the audience, hubby Jay-Z (real name: Shawn Carter), 41, beamed ear-to-ear as pal Kanye West congratulated him.  Although I’m sure Kanye was thinking, “When I have a baby, I’m going to announce it with fireworks.  And a personal blessing from the Dalai Lama! Suckas!”

Congrats, you crazy kids, on Baby… wait. What SHOULD we name their baby? (Notice I didn’t say what should they name their baby…) Let’s put it to a vote!

[polldaddy poll=5460287]

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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