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Captain Obvious Study: Men Are Kinda Nasty

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Captain Obvious Study: Men Are Kinda Nasty

If you’ve been wondering why your husband’s boxer briefs are stiff enough to walk to the washing machine, a new study may shed some light (where the sun don’t shine):  Turns out, one in eight men wears his underwear two or three times between washes.  Also:  More than half of the men surveyed admitted they rely on the “sniff test” to determine whether they wear their clothes over again, without washing.

Based on these findings, I may just be a dude.  Or a new mom with no time for frivolities like clean underwear.  Either/or.

Clorox, which apparently has too much money on its hands, paid for the phone survey of 1,200 people, and presumably wants us to be so disgusted we douse our respective men in bleach.

Also noteworthy:  Single women were more than twice as likely as married women to buy new clothes — instead of bothering to do the laundry. In fact, more than a third of unmarried women own more than 20 pairs of underwear — presumably another way to avoid the chore.

Based on those findings, I may just be a single woman as well.  (Yes!  I buy a lot of underwear, and wear them for long periods of time.  No wonder I don’t have more friends.)

Not surprisingly, married men and women have slightly different perspectives about who, exactly, is even doing the laundry.  Nearly 41 percent of men said they share laundry duty with their partners.  However, women asked the same question said only 29 percent said their partner help.

All I know is, the “sniff test” is NASTY.  Anybody with class knows the proper way to determine cleanliness is to throw the clothes against the wall and see if they stick.  I mean, really.  Geesh.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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