Parenting columnist Candy Kirby boasts sleep swaddling (swaddling a cranky newborn in the middle of the night while still sleeping) and the ability to pick up a pacifier with her toes while shaking a martini with her other foot among her impressive achievements. Adding to her accomplished portfolio, Candy now has a new trademark scent reflective of how she smells morning, noon and night: Eau de Spit-up. Although Candy’s first child rarely if ever regurgitated her milk, her second-born spits up more than Paris Hilton looks in the mirror, giving Candy a permanently sour aroma. “What is this crusty white stuff in your hair?” Candy’s hair stylist asked with disdain. “Take a whiff!” Candy replied. And the stylist did, the distinctive and pungent smell literally knocking him off his feet.
“You should bottle that,” he said sarcastically, gasping for air.
Thus a new fragrance was born.
Filled with the smell of expired milk and just a hint of explosive poop, Eau de Spit-up is sure to make you a hit with all of the neighborhood raccoons. Stay tuned for complementary products from this new mom-inspired beauty and clothing line, including pre-stained shirts — that’s right! Shirts that come already stained with yellowish milk circles around the breasts and splashes of spit-up down the back!