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The Laughing Stork Launches New Fragrance: Eau de Spit-up

Family & Parenting Humor

The Laughing Stork Launches New Fragrance: Eau de Spit-up

Parenting columnist Candy Kirby boasts sleep swaddling (swaddling a cranky newborn in the middle of the night while still sleeping) and the ability to pick up a pacifier with her toes while shaking a martini with her other foot among her impressive achievements.  Adding to her accomplished portfolio, Candy now has a new trademark scent reflective of how she smells morning, noon and night:  Eau de Spit-up.  Although Candy’s first child rarely if ever regurgitated her milk, her second-born spits up more than Paris Hilton looks in the mirror, giving Candy a permanently sour aroma.  “What is this crusty white stuff in your hair?” Candy’s hair stylist asked with disdain.  “Take a whiff!” Candy replied.  And the stylist did, the distinctive and pungent smell literally knocking him off his feet.

“You should bottle that,” he said sarcastically, gasping for air.

Thus a new fragrance was born.

Filled with the smell of expired milk and just a hint of explosive poop, Eau de Spit-up is sure to make you a hit with all of the neighborhood raccoons.  Stay tuned for complementary products from this new mom-inspired beauty and clothing line, including pre-stained shirts — that’s right!  Shirts that come already stained with yellowish milk circles around the breasts and splashes of spit-up down the back!

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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