Celebrities

The Laughing Stork’s Celebrity DILF #13: Ben Affleck

Published on May 3, 2011

Benjamin Géza Affleck-Boldt

Deets: 39 years old; born in Berkeley, California and raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts; actor, film director, writer, and producer

Family Low-Down: Has three children, Violet, Seraphina and baby Samuel, with wife Jennifer Garner

DILF-able Qualities: At almost 6’3″, he can easily reach the secret stash of condoms and KY you hid in the top cupboard

What we imagine Ben’s O-face looks like:

Hey, he has a newborn. He’s tired. You’re just lucky he didn’t fall asleep.

Celebrity DILF #14>>

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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).