Fashion Police: Worst Dressed at the 2011 Oscars

Now the fun part! As determined by a woman currently wearing a flannel nightshirt and mismatching Halloween socks (I kid you not)…

How thoughtful of Melissa Leo to wear a doily — with gold foil underlay, no less — in case after-party caterers forgot to bring their own.

The most disappointing part: Helena Bonham Carter’s dress isn’t even entertainingly eccentric. C’mon, Helena — this is the Oscars. The biggest, most glamorous entertainment event of the year! Couldn’t you at least have the decency to wear a boot and a stiletto? Or pantyhose on your head? Geesh.

A veteran fashion designer such as Valentino should know that orange clashes with the red carpet…

Great. And now I’m hungry for fried chicken.

Oh, Marisa Tomei. You are so darn cute. If only the designer had stopped at the waist and asked himself, “Do I REALLY want to add a mermaid-style tulle train to this gown?” Because as soon as he heard the words “mermaid-style tulle train” come out of his mouth, he undoubtedly would have realized it was a bad idea.

Hear that? Nicole Kidman’s lithe hips are crying out: “Why are you DOING this to us, Nicole Kidman?” (Yes, it’s true: Nicole’s hips are not yet on a first-name basis with her.)