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Commiserating

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Our neighbor, who has two daughters and just traded in his Mustang convertible for a more family-friendly Jeep, pulls up at daycare to pick up his kids at the same time.

NEIGHBOR:  Like the new car!

ME:  Thanks!

NEIGHBOR:  Brand new?

ME:  Yup.  It’s great.  Truly great.  [PAUSE, THEN ADMIT:]  ‘Though I was crying when I got rid of the convertible.

NEIGHBOR:  I understand.  Trust me, I understand.

ME:  I was actually happy it was raining on Sunday.  So I didn’t miss the convertible.  [GET A HOLD OF MYSELF]  But I love my new SUV!  Truly.  I do.  Drives so smoothly —

NEIGHBOR:  Wait ’til it’s summer and sunny all the time.  The pain will really set in then.

ME:  You had to go there, didn’t you?

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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