Hairgate

There are a few simple rules I expect daycare to follow:  watch my child; do not hurt my child; empty my child’s diaper every so often; keep my child off porn sites (at least the ones involving goats or any Kardashian sisters or both); and, most importantly of all, do not, under any circumstances, CUT MY CHILD’S HAIR.

Oops.

Behold the unwanted choppy bang trim courtesy of daycare — not that they’re fessing up to it, of course.  So I guess her bangs just miraculously cut themselves. Amazing!

Grrrrrr.

Granted, Skye’s bangs were getting long, but that was a positive development because I could almost put a barrette in them — a new style option that made me overwhelmingly giddy.  So not only has Skye’s self-appointed mystery stylist deprived me of experiencing my daughter’s first haircut, but she has also deprived me of ACCESSORIZING MY DAUGHTER WITH FABULOUS, SPARKLY BARRETTES.

I haven’t been this upset since McDonald’s refused to let me walk through the drive-thru to order a crispy chicken sandwich.  Yes, alcohol may have been involved.

After I asked Skye’s primary teachers about the mystery cut — I don’t think it was either of them; Detective Candy suspects it was one of the afternoon assistants who would always slather Skye’s hair with gel and slick it back, as though she were a member of Arthur Fonzarelli’s old street gang — the director of the school called and “assured” me that none of her teachers would do such a thing, nor would they let any of the other children run around with scissors and play Vidal Sassoon.

“But I did notice her hair was shorter,” she admitted.

“Uh, YEAH,” I replied with my usual eloquence.

So I did the only thing I could in this bizarre and frustrating situation:  asked Skye who cut her hair.

“Kitty!” she exclaimed, as she responds to most all questions.

Ah-HA!  I should have known it was Marcy; her not-so-subtle way of exacting revenge for tormenting her with yet another bully — accomplished with no opposable thumbs, no less.  Well-played, Marcy.  Well-played, indeed.

Oh, and did I mention…?  Grrrrrr.