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The Laughing Stork

Candy's Column


As y’all know, trying to adopt a cat hasn’t exactly been easy for us so far, with competition and overextended, unresponsive volunteers seemingly working against us.  Frustrated but not defeated, I decided to be even more proactive and go to a cat adoption event on Saturday — but I also knew that walking in there with a boisterous 15-month-old wouldn’t necessarily work in our favor.  So I did my best to make said boisterous 15-month-old look a bit more, um, appealing to the foster kitty parents.

What do you think?  Too subtle?

Well, it worked at first — those cat ladies ooohhh’d and aaahhh’d over the “adorable shirt” Skye just HAPPENED to be wearing (*AHEM*) — until, that is, she proceeded to take her sippy cup and bang it on the six-thousand-page application that I was filling out, getting milk EVERYWHERE and making my ink run.  They stared at her, then stared at me, clearly not so sure about my parenting skills, SO…

… I did what any good prospective kitty mom would do:   Told the volunteers I was just babysitting for a friend.  (Hey!  I can’t have that kid holding me back.)

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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