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Another Bad-Ass Rocker Goes Maternal: Pink is Pregnant


Another Bad-Ass Rocker Goes Maternal: Pink is Pregnant

One of my favorite rockers, Pink — Mr. Candy and I have seriously watched her Funhouse Tour – Live in Australia concert seven-hundred-trillion and two times (because our Friday nights are just THAT exciting these days) — is pregnant.

“She’s 12 weeks along,” a snitch tells Us Weekly. “She wanted to do it between tours, when she has some time off.”

The source adds that after the singer, 31, and husband Carey Hart, 35, reunited, “Pink was determined to make the relationship solid. Now she’s really happy, and she’s excited she got pregnant so fast! She’ll be a brilliant mother.”

Poor Mr. Candy.  He loves angry chick music — yes, yes, he does — and first Alanis Morissette breaks his heart by becoming a happy, glowing pregnant lady and now Pink does the same…?  Let’s hope she at least suffered from morning sickness.  Oh, the great material it could inspire…!

I guess I just tossed my breakfast
Can see where my hash browns went
So I’m gonna stick to saltines
As my husband gorges himself, all content
I got a bloated belly
I’m missing my six-pack, all right
I wanna crawl into bed
I wanna say nighty-night

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
I wanna say nighty-night
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

Shocking nobody has ever hired me as a lyricist.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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