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Perfect for the Formal Dining Room: Placenta Prints

Weird But True

Perfect for the Formal Dining Room: Placenta Prints

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For those new mothers who prefer to admire their afterbirth on the wall, rather than devour it in a panini or cuddle with it in a teddy bear:

The sales pitch: “I make your prints before I wash and prepare the placenta. They are printed with the natural placenta blood on acid-free artists paper. . . For an additional fee of $5, I can also make large placenta prints that are suitable for framing.”

Oh dear.  Despite the compelling offer, there is no WAY could I allow that into my house — I mean, it would totally clash with my dried umbilical cord drapery rings.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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