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Lapping up the attention

Candy's Column

Lapping up the attention

Ever since we returned from Skye’s eight-day East Coast Birthday Party Tour, Marcy has been on us like The Hoff on a cheeseburger.  She refuses to take her eye off of us for a second, squeezing her way onto my office chair, her father’s lap and our bed at night — and, most surprisingly, waiting outside of Skye’s room as she sleeps, eager for the kid to come out and play with her.  And by “play with,” I mean “pound on.”

Yes!  After Marcy’s Great Summer Depression of ’09, she and Skye have become sweet buddies; a coming-together even more unlikely, and certainly more anticipated around the world, than Reagan and Gorbachev.

I just love how Marcy is loving up Mr. Candy ON HIS FRESHLY LAUNDERED BLACK PANTS.  Don’t think that’s not deliberate.  She’s all, Yeah, I’m thrilled you’re finally home.  But that’s not going to stop me from exacting my revenge, bitches!

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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