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Fourteen-Year-Old Girls Edge Out Toddlers to Claim “Worst Age” Title

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Fourteen-Year-Old Girls Edge Out Toddlers to Claim “Worst Age” Title

Move over, “Terrible Twos” — the “Frightening Fourteens” are officially the the worst age EVER.

At least two-year-olds are cute (says Candy before her kid reaches the terrible twos/threes… We’ll see how “cute” I think it is when Skye is kicking and screaming in Target’s toiletries aisle because I wouldn’t let her buy a razor).

According to a survey of 2,000 mothers and fathers of children over the age of 18, 14-year-old daughters are the most difficult to parent because of their desire to grow up too quickly, their demands for greater freedom and peer pressure to be thin.

Yup, that sounds about right.  Pretty sure that’s also the age at which I perfected the Disgusted Eye Roll and Frustrated Sigh.

Fifteen-year-old boys are no piece of cake either, say those surveyed.  Although parents were frustrated by the teens’ “bad” behavior, two-thirds of them chalked it up to raging hormones.

“We have to remember that as well as being the worst age for the parents, the teenage years are also the most difficult for the children themselves,” said Kathryn Crawford of, which carried out the survey.

The best thing parents can do, says Candy, the clueless publisher of, is try to keep the lines of communication open and stock up on a lot of alcohol.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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